Sweet home Alaba...where the hell are we?

No pictures in GA...A tornado kinda was trying to wipe it off the face of the earth. I have no problem with this as Atlanta is hot and has no parking. My only problem with Gods plan for Georgia was I happen to be going 110mph when we slammed face first into a SOLID wall of water. Nothing sexier then driving 10 miles an hour with you flashers on at 2am. We ended up somewhere in Alabama at a Wal-Mart parking lot around 3am, but this brave little Hippo was not going to let his owner down. Low and behold what did we find but the WWE road crew! There is me on the left hanging out with HHH himself. (I'm the thing in the middle that looks like a blue nipple.) So there you go, even while lost, Hippo gets VIP treatment.

JAH (oo)

Day one....Talladega Nights.

Johnny here for the blow by blow on todays little adventure. First thing, we left just as the sun was going down to avoid traffic. This has up sides and down sides. Going as fast as you want on curvy roads with the whole place to yourself, Up side. Not having a damn thing to look at because it's the middle of the fucking night, Down side. That does not mean that this clever little hippo did not get a chance to get some good shots in!

Meet Johnson A. Hippo

This intreped little blue fellow is Johnson, Johnny to his friends. He will be giving a personalised tour of our drive from South Carolina to Texas. He will be posting updates for me while I am doing the hard stuff like driving, spending money and trying to find places for my wife to pee.

Yippie-ki-yay Motherfuckers!

Texas ahoy! So as I am one lazy fucker when it comes to updating this goddamn thing with the manna from Heaven that is my divine wit and hate for carbon based life, I am laying forth a challenge...3 weeks, 10 updates, no excuses. I will start with a photo journal of a 8 day trip to "Bush Country", again, not the one from Vegas. This will be accomplished with my trusty Canon Camera, My girl Friday, all the free wifi I can steal, and my mother in law screaming in the back every time I go within 10 miles of the posted speed limit. Now I need my loyal readers to call bullshit in the comment sections when it gets slack. Remember, like daddy, I work better fueled by hate.
To see list in Texas:

• A belt buckle bigger then my already huge head.
• A retard put to the chair (bring popcorn).
• The rare and elusive 11 gallon hat.
• A longhorn steer....then eat it.
• A sidearm worn in a church.
• That damn roadrunner....then eat it.

See everyone soon.
SG!