This is a first in a ten part series designed to help others who will have faced the same fate as myself. Working for a large, high end retail electronics chain selling computers and networking gives you the rare and astoundingly lucky chance to brush your mind against a level of near humanity that you just don't see outside of an evolutionists wet dream. So on to our first test monkey?
Subject 1: The willfully Ignorant
This customer (see subject 1 on the left, having issues with his "interwebs") is not as the title may suggest "stupid". No, this person who in their own job may be employee of the month three times running, is intentionally ignorant about whatever piece of technology they are coming in to acquire. They speak to how they are "Computer illiterate", a phrase that sends my blood to speeds normally used to escape earth's gravity, and they are PROUD of it. If you have found yourself at the hands of such a creature, be sure to follow this guide to the letter!
- Do not argue with the subject. Whatever the subject has been told by "kin" is the word from on high, carved in stone tablets. Unless a statement made by the subject violates the laws of god and man, let it slide. Just nod and make agreeing noises (IE: mmm, yes, Vista has been know to cause your computer to eat babies, mmmmhhm, yup).
- Do show them the biggest screen on anything you sell. Shiny=Good.
- They will deny that they will ever use the computer for anything outside of surfing, and I have had a few go as far as to say they may not even turn the fucking thing on, to avoid all of those annoying questions you may have like "do you have anti-virus?", "do you need to print?" and "do you have electricity?", as they they know in their heart of hearts is just you trying to rip them off.
- Do not for any reason try to educate the savage. This at best is a waste of both your times, and at worst, may get you burned at the stake as a witch.
2 comments:
hhahahaha I love this. So completely true. It reminds me of a recent customer I had in DI who for the life of me could NOT grasp the concept of what an optical stabilzer does, and could not make up his fucking mind to save his life. I finally was like "sir, when you make up your mind, let me know, and I'll be glad to get you a camera you will gleefully enjoy."
Hope all is well in Flo-town!
Great Stuff!! I love when you are telling them something, and they immediately have to call their friend and ask them about what you just said. No matter how right you are, you aren't their "infinite source of wisdom" that is on the other phone, and ultimately they won't believe you.
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