I think my job is designed to drive me mad.

A list in no order of things I had to tell a customer today:

1. "Sir, do not stick ANYTHING in that slot."
2. "Yes all computers have DVD burners, no I will not show you how to bootleg."
3. "Yes, you must pay for goods and services, we are not a charity."
4. "Yes, I am still sure that you should not put ANYTHING in that slot."
5. "You are having trouble picking up wireless signal? How far away is your router? Yes you must own a router."
6. "No, I will not help you pick up you next door neighbors encrypted WI-Fi."
7. "Yes I know you heard Vista sucked, would you like a Mac? $1,000 starting point. So, lets look at the $4 VISTA computers, huh?"
8. "Sir, if you are going to sick something in that slot, at least ground yourself."
9. Yes you can do it yourself...In theory....you could also fly a plane, build a car from scratch and run a mile in 4 min, but seeing as not 10 min ago you just patted a LCD and asked what colors the 'modem' comes in and if it will play spider....I going am going to have to go with no on that one."
10. "Do you smell burning hair?"