Christmas (after being stolen from every pagan religion except the Mayans) has been around for the better part of forever and has seen as a cash cow for retailers since Sears met Roebuck. What we can draw from the above statements is that as long as you were nor born in a year that ends in BC, you are aware that it can be a bit "busy" in most stores. Here are just a few questions we poor souls must endure on a daily basis:
- What do you meen you are out of stock of (insert do-dad of the moment)? If I had the ability to magicly create matter out of thin air, I would not be talking to you.
- Why is it so busy? I know! It is like everyone left their house all at once to buy something they did not need for a Holiday that most people over the drinking age hate.
- Are you helping someone? This is always asked while perched on a ladder that wobbles when dust settles on it and you are trying to take down a box bigger then your first apartment. My response, "Nope, building a tree house, come on up and we can tell ghost stories. "
- So you are out of stock, why don't you people just order more? No joke here really, but do people think there is a big fucking "order" button that gets pressed and shit shows up? 1,000 people are involved in getting an egg from the chickens ass to your fridge so how complicated it is for a 62" plasma screen TV to get made.....let alone what it does to the chickens ass.
- What is the cheapest thing you have? OK, I won't judge. Money may be tight. You might have a "Secret Santa" budget limit or you just may plain hate the fucker your getting the item for. I understand like three Dr. Phils. What I do not understand is the hate that gets directed toward us poor little underlings when you let them know that the whole cast of the Simpsons has already beat them in and asked that same question, then bought all of said items and now the "cheapest" thing you have in stock is a throne made out of faberge eggs.
- Why are the lines so long? How long does it take to ring up a DVD? Says the woman, paying half in an out of state, third party check with no ID and the other in wampum. And wants cash back. Do you have a pen, I never carry a pen. Oh wait did you already run my LAST CHECK EVER?! I had a coupon for 8 cents off that I must use today or it expires, let me run to my car and get it.
PS: note to future self, airholes in the puppy box!
