The scroll I found as a child that inspired me to greatness.

A short list of reasons why I am awesome

1. I can open a Capri Sun juice pouch on my first try, every time.
2. I give the middle finger to babies when no one is looking.
3. I no longer talk in the third person.
4. I am tall enough to turn off the door sensors on automatic doors so I can watch people walk into them.
5. My name is a killing word.
6. Due to my cuddly nature, I can insult people and they think I am just putting them on.
7. I once had to kill a dinosaur with a tube sock full of wood screws.
8. I was raised by a family of chickens, which is why to this day I NEVER look up when it rains.
9. I make the best tacos. No joke here, just plain amazing tacos.
10. I sometimes lie even when I know the correct answer anyway.